I swear to god

That now I need to update this shit since I've joined Python.

No guarantees, but I'll try.

DANIEL JACKSON?!!?!?!

Okay, Ankh never undocked. Which is anti-fun.

Why do I think this will be any different?

Honestly I don't.

[ 2010.05.29 15:44:55 ] Daniel Jackson > yesh?
[ 2010.05.29 15:44:57 ] SolusLunes > Good evening.
[ 2010.05.29 15:45:08 ] SolusLunes > I need to inform you of something.
[ 2010.05.29 15:45:15 ] Daniel Jackson > of?
[ 2010.05.29 15:45:15 ] SolusLunes > It should be short, so relatively painless.
[ 2010.05.29 15:45:31 ] SolusLunes > You might remember me from the Caldari Militia.
[ 2010.05.29 15:45:37 ] SolusLunes > Probably not, but it's not important.
[ 2010.05.29 15:45:46 ] SolusLunes > What is, however, is that someone reminded me of you.
[ 2010.05.29 15:46:16 ] SolusLunes > And the fact that your piloting... style... leaves much to be desired in New Eden.
[ 2010.05.29 15:46:32 ] SolusLunes > To that end, I've decided to enroll you in our non-optional mandatory training classes.
[ 2010.05.29 15:46:52 ] Daniel Jackson > pilot style o.O
[ 2010.05.29 15:47:07 ] SolusLunes > Well, more about your... um.. how should I say...
[ 2010.05.29 15:47:07 ] Daniel Jackson > last i check i dont have style
[ 2010.05.29 15:47:23 ] SolusLunes > style of "interaction" with other militia members.
[ 2010.05.29 15:47:40 ] Daniel Jackson > u know imnolonger in milita right
[ 2010.05.29 15:47:43 ] SolusLunes > Yes.
[ 2010.05.29 15:47:48 ] SolusLunes > I'm fully aware of this fact.
[ 2010.05.29 15:48:07 ] SolusLunes > I'm going off of the assumption that you are the same person from then, right?
[ 2010.05.29 15:48:11 ] SolusLunes > Or am I mistaken?
[ 2010.05.29 15:48:24 ] Daniel Jackson > yes i made this account
[ 2010.05.29 15:48:28 ] SolusLunes > Okay.
[ 2010.05.29 15:48:38 ] Daniel Jackson > but i dont really pvp
[ 2010.05.29 15:48:46 ] SolusLunes > And that is exactly what I aim to fix.
[ 2010.05.29 15:49:09 ] SolusLunes > I offer nothing but the highest caliber of mandatory, non-optional training.
[ 2010.05.29 15:49:09 ] Daniel Jackson > why
[ 2010.05.29 15:49:16 ] Daniel Jackson > i dont like pvp cause its boring
[ 2010.05.29 15:49:55 ] SolusLunes > "Non-optional."
[ 2010.05.29 15:49:56 ] Daniel Jackson > u fight then u lose a ship then u gotta regain money back for it
[ 2010.05.29 15:50:00 ] Daniel Jackson > its like whats the use
[ 2010.05.29 15:50:11 ] SolusLunes > I'm just repeating that for emphasis.
[ 2010.05.29 15:50:19 ] SolusLunes > One of two things can happen:
[ 2010.05.29 15:50:23 ] Daniel Jackson > i dont take non-optionAL requeests
[ 2010.05.29 15:50:28 ] SolusLunes > 1. I train you (and blow you up in the meantime.)
[ 2010.05.29 15:50:33 ] SolusLunes > 2. I blow you up.
[ 2010.05.29 15:50:36 ] SolusLunes > Or at least attempt to.
[ 2010.05.29 15:50:47 ] Daniel Jackson > u do realize im not just a 3 memeber corp right?
[ 2010.05.29 15:50:48 ] SolusLunes > I've never been good at tracking people down, I'm not afraid to admit it.
[ 2010.05.29 15:50:52 ] SolusLunes > Oh?
[ 2010.05.29 15:51:10 ] Daniel Jackson > im a 2003 player in a corp with 3 members
[ 2010.05.29 15:51:17 ] Daniel Jackson > what elce would u think
[ 2010.05.29 15:51:24 ] SolusLunes > I'm aware of your long Eve history.
[ 2010.05.29 15:51:31 ] SolusLunes > That doesn't change anything, though.
[ 2010.05.29 15:51:45 ] Daniel Jackson > yes but have u even thought of the possability that i have corp that back me up?
[ 2010.05.29 15:51:51 ] Daniel Jackson > corps*
[ 2010.05.29 15:52:10 ] SolusLunes > It has crossed my mind, but I can't say as I'm particularly worried about it.
[ 2010.05.29 15:52:14 ] SolusLunes > Why? Should I be?
[ 2010.05.29 15:53:14 ] Daniel Jackson > why shoudent u be?
[ 2010.05.29 15:53:40 ] SolusLunes > Because right now they haven't graduated from "vague undefined kinda-threat" level yet.
[ 2010.05.29 15:53:55 ] Daniel Jackson > u dont even know who "they" are
[ 2010.05.29 15:54:04 ] SolusLunes > You're completely right. I don't.
[ 2010.05.29 15:54:16 ] SolusLunes > Are you going to enlighten me?
[ 2010.05.29 15:54:38 ] Daniel Jackson > no because thats stupid, who in there right mind would give out info like that?
[ 2010.05.29 15:55:04 ] SolusLunes > I find it just a little silly that you would bring them up yet be so reluctant to inform me as to who they are.
[ 2010.05.29 15:55:11 ] SolusLunes > Alas. I am sure I will find out in due time.
[ 2010.05.29 15:55:23 ] Daniel Jackson > its waht u would call "my style"
[ 2010.05.29 15:55:24 ] SolusLunes > Concord has given their sanction to me to start my instruction in 48 hours.
[ 2010.05.29 15:55:34 ] SolusLunes > I'll find out who they are- or aren't- then, I suppose.
[ 2010.05.29 15:56:42 ] SolusLunes > In any case, I eagerly look forward to the opening of classes.
[ 2010.05.29 15:59:47 ] Daniel Jackson > and which corp will u be declaring with
[ 2010.05.29 15:59:57 ] SolusLunes > Griefing Inc, of course.
[ 2010.05.29 16:00:10 ] SolusLunes > I possess no other corporations.
[ 2010.05.29 16:00:18 ] SolusLunes > I make no claims of phantom friends and allies.
[ 2010.05.29 16:00:30 ] SolusLunes > In fact, I will be the only person from my corporation that you see.
[ 2010.05.29 16:00:49 ] SolusLunes > Speaking of which, we really should get a few more teachers...
[ 2010.05.29 16:10:03 ] SolusLunes > But I believe that's everything and your enrollment is in order.
[ 2010.05.29 16:10:07 ] SolusLunes > Do you have any questions?
[ 2010.05.29 16:13:44 ] Daniel Jackson > ya ur gonna dec me with 4 members?
[ 2010.05.29 16:14:20 ] SolusLunes > Ah
[ 2010.05.29 16:14:26 ] SolusLunes > Be aware that the other three are alts
[ 2010.05.29 16:14:32 ] SolusLunes > And you'll likely never see them.
[ 2010.05.29 16:14:42 ] SolusLunes > So, more accurately, one member.
[ 2010.05.29 16:17:40 ] SolusLunes > But the answer to that is a yes.

Griefing Inc's newest educational offering!

First off, let me wrap up loose ends from the last blog post: the day after I posted that, my dearest wormhole neighbors moved out. Aww. I think naming the X-Large assembly array "The Dread Works" and linking them to this blog was a bit of a tip off.

Next: Our first student!

Congratulations on your enrollment!
From: SolusLunes
Sent: 2010.05.08 09:57
To: Ankhesentapemkah, 

Dear Ankhesentepemkah,

I speak on behalf of Griefing Inc's education division when I say I'm thrilled you chose us for your CONCORD-sanctioned combative education classes! It is also my pleasure to inform you that your course materials will be delivered within (hopefully) 48 hours and we can get down to business. I'll be your (and the rest of your alliance, if they should so desire) personal tutor. Don't worry about there being too many students- I've made absolutely certain that I've brought enough ammo for everybody.

Should you wish to disenroll in this class (which would make our education division unspeakably sad, as you're one of our most promising students,) it is unfortunate that we have a 500 million isk disenrollment fee. But I'm certain that you completely agree with us when we say you'll get the best quality of classes available anywhere in New Eden!

Fly safe (until we find you,) and we've got six barrels of red hot leaden education aimed straight at you and your friends!

With regards,
SolusLunes
Griefing Inc Education Division CEO

http://www.eveonline.com/ingameboard.asp?a=topic&threadID=1314819

Dearest Wormhole Neighbors:

I will chop off your arm. When you decide to run away from me, I will tase your body so that you are so filled with pain and terror that you wet yourself. While you're lying there twitching from the electric shock, I will douse your body in gasoline and burn you to a hideous char. Since I am not entirely without mercy, I will graciously douse the flames with my own urine. As you try to crawl away on your charred, urine-soaked hands and knees, I will stand on your back and ride your decrepit, failing body. I will then pull out a machete, and sever your head. THEN I SHALL PLAY SOCCER WITH YOUR HEAD. Following which, I shall play catch with the dogs with your head. And when your charred, urine soaked head provides no more amusement for the dogs, I will smash it like a hellish Gallagher with a sledgehammer, splattering brains all about. (ingame).

This is for you, Quantum Conglomerate.

I ninja into your wormhole while you're running sites, and as the tower comes up and starts coming online, I issue a friendly greeting in local.

HOW DO YOU RESPOND?

Any polite, caring person would say hello, nice to meet you, and then proceed to the killing/pew pew.

You took my olive branch, snapped it over your knee, and pissed on it. This is unforgivable.

However, I have solutions for dealing with people like you.

Since I can't take your tower out by my lonesome in a class 3 since I can't get a dread...

OH WAIT I CAN BUILD ONE I'LL GET RIGHT ON THAT.

What was your wormhole, and could have been ours through co-operation, will be mine through overwhelming, completely unnecessary force.

And glorious force it shall be.

OH SHIT UPDATE INCOMING

I haven't updated for a while as I have done a complete 180 in how I play Eve- the freedom's going to my head and now I'm switching paths like a schizophrenic wiener dog.

However!

I have only not updated because I could not find the correct words to describe RAEG.

Those have been found. Will update.

First Blood

...and damn was it easy.

This is going to be fun. After about a half hour chatting with one of AWI- oh wait, I'm jumping into this far too soon, aren't I?

Right. Yarrow Shipbuilders kinda fell to the wayside when I saw this.

http://amarrwarindustries.eve-kill.net

Alright. Go take a look. I'll wait.

Done? Yeah, I know! Shiny things! They lose them so often. So. Yeah. Yarrow Shipbuilders I don't care about.

Okay, back to the story. After about a half hour chatting with one of AWI's better combat pilots and faffing around in a Stabber trying to catch two t1 frigs while getting shot at by a Nighthawk, I decide that screw it, I'ma dock and get some food.

After successfully "forcing" me to dock, AWI decides to camp me in. I'm being camped by a Nighthawk, an Apoc, and a Thorax. The Nighthawk leaves while I'm grabbing food, and so just an Apoc and Thorax are camping me.

Oops.

Should have brought more firepower. I would have had the Apoc too, but he had the presence of mind to deaggress and redock when he hit about 80% structure. Alas. You can't have them all. And they took me to a whopping 93% armor. Dear God.

More to come, including the RP post and video (whenever I figure out how to edit those well.)

A concurrent investigation

While the unfortunate realities of timezone differences has kept me from engaging Vladimir Norkoff at this time, I feel that I should open up a second avenue of things for me to shoot.

Enter Yarrow Shipbuilders.

To: Alfred Yarrow
From: SolusLunes

Good day, sir.

As you are the CEO of the Yarrow Shipbuilders corporation, I feel I am obligated to let you know that the services of Griefing Inc have been contracted for an investigation on your illegal activities in the New Eden universe.

The paperwork is currently being processed through our corporation before being forwarded to CONCORD for approval, so we may have a second remedy available to you. A sufficient donation to the coffers of Griefing Incorporated, say a sum of one hundred million isk, will result in the war declaration paperwork being horribly misfiled into the shredder.

We eagerly await your response.

Regards,
SolusLunes
Griefing Inc CEO

First Target (RP)

Freedom. Sweet freedom. Not to say I haven't enjoyed my time with the 22nd Black Rise Defensive Unit, but it is nice to be forging my own path across the stars.

And by "forging my own path" I of course mean "sleeping on the goddamn Legion because I haven't decided where I'm going to base GI out of."

Shit, that can't be good for my back. The Amarrians know how to make things goddamn shiny, but for comfort, nothing can match the memory-foam molded bunks of my beloved Tengu. The Amarrians believe apparently "Pain is a step closer to God." Maybe that's why they're always so uptight. Can't sleep on this shit, can't sleep with the computer's systems constantly sending out religious chants through the speakers during all hours of the day. That was easy enough to fix in my Armageddon- just shoot all the speakers.

I'll get on that in the morning.

Ah, right, nearly forgot. Got the necessary palms in Concord greased to get them to look the other way when I shoot people in Empire. "Incorruptible" my ass. They even have forms to fill out for the damn bribes. Can't avoid paperwork. Ever.

I haven't decided to shoot any fluffy bears this first time- I've never been particularly good at tracking people down who don't want to fight, and I want to start Griefing Inc out with a bang. Or massive failure. Whatever. So I've declared war on the Income Redistribution Service, led by some mentally-deluded nutjob. I heard he's crazy, but doesn't run from fights. Should be a simple enough job, no profit in it though.

My contacts in the Amarrian Ministry of Internal Order have informed me that he currently operates out of Vuorrasi- Vuorrasisith oh fuck it you know where it is. Can't sleep for shit in Amarrian quarters, but their intelligence services can't be equaled. Unless you're a Gallente whore with huge tits, but I can't say that I am.

Might as well get over there. This'll be a fun flight- at least the Amarrians can't make the pod any more uncomfortable than it is already.

First target of many

Alright. I suppose I should introduce myself. I've been called a pirate, an asshole, and generally other very unfriendly things.

I prefer the term "Griefer."

Because nothing brings quite a smile to my face as the sweet tears of people whose days I have ruined.

Is this pathological? Entirely possible. But it is who I am.

So. Onto today's target. I don't expect tears. In fact, I sincerely hope I won't get tears. Because I've declared war on someone who I respect, and think would be a good target for me to test this whole "Griefing Inc" thing out on.

That person is none other than the Taxman himself, Vladimir Norkoff.

We'll see how well I can track down someone who doesn't shy away from a fight- I picked him mainly because of that. Shouldn't be difficult, except for the pew-pew part. Looking forward to that one.

More to come when I see Vlad ship-to-ship. And then ship-to-pod shortly thereafter. :]

All griefing begins somewhere.

Today it begins at Griefing Inc.

More to come when tears are had.